Anti-Death Movement 2 December, 2013 at 12:00 pm

The room was quite spacious, but everyone was sitting in a neat circle in the middle of the room on uncomfortable chairs. Melissa leant forward, brushed some stray hairs behind her ears and started.

“Thank you all for coming, I think we all know why we’re here, gathered in this circle of understanding. The death rate in this country is frankly unacceptable.

“The statistics speak for themselves, as recently as 100 years ago, 100% of people in this country suffered from death. We must act.

“We’ve created an anti-death movement for people to sign a pledge that they won’t die. You see, we’ve identified the leading cause of death as people dying, and if we can tackle this issue on an individual level, then we can start seeing the results on a larger scale.

“Now, we’ve had few designs for t-shirts with slogans on them, ‘If I don’t die today, then it’s another victory over death’, that one is pointing out the flowing of time, you see, that tomorrow becomes today, so if you say you won’t die today, then it means that tomorrow you won’t die, because by the time tomorrow becomes today then it will be today and you’re saying you won’t die today. Do you understand? I thought that was, rather clever. ”

A few people nodded that they understood, the idea, if not what Melissa just said.

“We’ve also got ‘Kill Death’, which is a bit confrontational for my liking, but the design guys like it and it seems to have some traction.

“My personal favourite is ‘Die another day’, but I’ve been told there may be copyright issues with that one.

“We’ve also created a Death Awareness Month. A single month of the year where we get people to make a special effort not to die, and our projections show that if we can get 75% of our ‘at risk’ groups to participate, then we can reduce the rates of Death by a twelfth which is a massive impact.

“I’d like to open this up to the group, we’ve put a lot of brain storming, and banging our heads together in the back room, and would like to see if anyone has any other ideas to bring into the group. ”

Dave pipped up.

“Don’t you think the pledge to not die is futile?”

“Not at all,” continued Melissa, “so far we’ve had a 98% success rate, only a few people have fallen off the boat and died. It’s hard work, but if we can keep up numbers like that, then we’ve got a chance. ”

Erica was slightly more enthused with the ideas on show then Dave, and decided to speak up.

“Wow, I’m really excited by this and think that we really need to focus on the root causes and get to the bottom of WHY people die.”

“Thank you, that’s a really interesting avenue. We’ve found that people right across society are at risk of dying, but the people who are older seem to have an increased risk. We haven’t identified why this is yet, but numerous volunteers have been spending time with this at risk group, and their personal experiences have revealed that a large majority of these dyings happen in hospital. ”

Erica gasped.

“Yes, I know. Our own health establishments being paid for with our tax payers money, are among the worst offenders. Our team have thrown together some numbers, and find that one in fifteen cases of people dying could be avoided by shutting down the hospitals. ”

“You’re an idiot.” said Denise.

“Okay, we’ll take that on board, but I think it’s important to keep things positive in your contributions, so we can really tackle this issue. ”

“She’s right, you are a complete idiot.” said Dave.

About half the people mumbled their agreement and started to walk out.

“Hang on, don’t leave, I haven’t shown you the bumper stickers yet!”


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